Everywhere I go, I constantly find myself looking over my shoulder and giving people a double-take.

I fear I see people I once believed I could connect with.

I don’t want to be confronted by questions of

“How are you doing?”

“What have you been up to?”

It’s not so much the fact that I don’t care for people, but more so that I cannot handle revisiting the past when I keep telling myself to move forward.

I tell myself that I will not look back and I will only move forward.


I admit I always think about the what if’s of every situation, to somehow mentally calculate if something could have changed. But really? Nothing would. I know the type of person I’ve become.

Sometimes I love her.

Sometimes I loathe her.

But I am the way I am and I accept it.


So when I stood in the museum with my family and I glanced over my shoulder to see who I thought was you  in the same area–well, as you can imagine I thought about it–

the what if’s

and I realize each time I think of these scenarios,

I realize that I’ve ended up where I was meant to end up


You are nothing but a fragment of my past

I will not revisit you anymore because that’s not my way

I’m done with the double-take

It’s best I move forward


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